Adoption Training

We were able to get our 12 hours of adoption training completed a few weekends ago. We really weren't sure what to expect when we got to the agency. Our agency does their training in a weekend, Friday from 6-10 and Saturday from 9-5, and they offer it every 3 months. We were so glad that we were able to get into the March training.

When we arrived on Friday, we got a binder with all of the powerpoints for the weekend, as well as additional information to help us with preparing for adoption. There were about 15 couples attending the training. Over the course of the training we talked about child development, behavior management, cultural differences and openness. We were able to meet with the other couples going through the adoption process. We also were able to see a lot of sample profile books and get an idea of what we would like ours to look like.

There was a lot of discussion about openness in adoption. For those of you that don't know what this means, it means the level of interaction you have with the birthparents after the adoption is finalized. There are many different levels of openness. Some adoptions are closed, which means that the birthparents have no contact with the adoptive family. Most adoptions were closed a long time ago, but more recently, it has been believed that some form of open adoption is more healthy for the child and most agencies encourage you to have an open adoption. The level of openness is dependent on what the birthparents and the adoptive parents decide upon. A small level of openness could be letters and pictures sent to the birthparents through an intermediary to keep in contact. Whereas a high level of openness would mean letters, pictures, phone calls and even face-to-face meetings on a regular basis.

I have to be honest, when first thinking about adopting, I did not think I wanted an open adoption. I couldn't imagine meeting with the birthparents and having a relationship with them after the adoption. I was really scared that someday our child would want to be with them, instead of us, or would love them and forget about us...all sorts of fears went through my mind. After reading a lot of books, and especially after spending time at our training, my mind has completely changed and I realize that my fears were really selfish on my part. In fact, it is surprising to me how closed off I was to the idea of an open adoption at first, since I have first hand experience in this area. For those of you that don't know, I am adopted by my dad. My mom married my adoptive dad when I was in grade school and he went through the process of adopting me. I don't know my biological father at all and that has raised a lot of questions over the years, mainly with my health history. I can't imagine if I didn't know any of my health history because I was adopted by both parents. By having an open adoption, we can get the answers we need for our child so that he/she doesn't have to wonder or question. I also like the idea of adoption always being a part of our child's story and they never have to wonder about their birthparents because they are a part of the story too.

The last part of the training a couple who had adopted an infant came in and shared their story, as well as answered any questions we had. This was my favorite part because it was so exciting to see someone who went through the process (and it wasn't the most smooth ride) and successfully had their daughter. It made everything even more real!